What does it really mean when one labels another as insecure? This feels like a blanket insult that people apply without any true insight on understanding of the other person. Some folks are significantly more insecure than others, but the truth is that we all have our insecurities; moreover, each individual responds to their insecurities in different ways.
When I am feeling insecure about something; the first thing that I think about is that I do not want to cast negativity onto other people in response to my own insecurity. So much of the ridicule that people cast upon one another stems from insecurity. For example, why does a guy need to comment on a girl that he is not dating’s dating life? Likely because he is insecure about his own dating life. He knows he cannot get a girl of her caliber, so he puts her down.
Second example, why do people trash the person that they were dating when the relationship ends? Perhaps, because they are feeling rejected, which in turns drives a feeling of insecurity. If one is really secure with in themselves, then why the need to attack the other. The attack just leaves to total loss of respect.
Dating is actually an area that I do feel secure in. If I stop seeing someone, I have no need to attack them. I am quite capable of simply walking away. I truly wish them a happy life. It does not bother me to know they are with someone else. Their flaunting being with someone else by blowing my up my phone on a Saturday night is really unattractive, and screams insecurity. Especially, when the guy is sending me pictures of the girl that he is supposedly out with, and the picture is of a girl that is so classy she sends pictures of herself to men with her nipples clearly visible. All of this does not hurt me or make me feel insecure; in contrast, it is a feeling of relief. The guy that I am no longer dating is now someone else’s problem, and they appear to be a suitable match for one another.
So what am I insecure about? Lots of things:
– I was made fun of ruthlessly when I was a child, and I do not like to be made fun of now. I do not like it when people talk negatively about my size or my body. I have always felt insecure about being a larger girl. It is not that I want to be smaller; just that I do not want to be taunted for being bigger, if that makes any sense.
– I worry that I am not smart enough. I never did particularly well in school, and I often feel like there is so much that the rest of the world knows that I have no clue about.
– I fear being judged because of my upbringing. We were not exactly high society on our little farm. I loved my childhood, but I think that my childhood was a beautiful way of life that most do not understand.
– I am insecure about my history with cancer. This one does not make a great deal of sense, but this is a reality. It is not as if I can control the fact that cancer seems to have killed everyone in my family, and I took great measures to avoid the same fate. Yet, it is not something that I ever want to talk about, and I hate thinking about it.
– Walking into a room full of people makes me extremely nervous. I am a social butterfly; I love people. I love to hear about people lives, their children, their travel adventures, their jobs and their pets. I love meeting new people. If these people could all just walk into a room one at a time, that would be so much easier. Oddly, if I am there first, and a place because crowded with people, I don’t feel anxiety at all. Yet, if I am late to arrive, and I have to walk in, the anxiety is unavoidable.
– I am insecure about my cooking abilities. I think that cooking skills are extremely important, so I always worry that someone will dislike my cooking.
I am sure that there are other things, but these are the biggest ones. I think that realizing we are all human, and that we all have our insecurities makes life easier. In my opinion, running around talking about how confident one is does not increase their level of security; to the contrary, talking about one’s insecurities helps to build confidence and reduce the feeling of insecurity.
My TMI post generated a great deal of comments. Feel free to share your own insecurities in the comments section of this post. I will respond, as I always do.
Thank you for dropping by to read my thoughts.