Today was a Monday. I like Mondays. I always do. I like getting back to work, and I love Monday evenings with my little birds. They always come home chock-full of what they learned in school and what their friends said and did. They sit at the bar in the kitchen, and Brainy Bird does homework, while Little Chirp does pages in his fun learning books. He is learning to read, and he loves opening up a new page to find words that he knows. I never tire of Mondays.
Tonight, after my birds went to bed, I had a long conversation with someone that knows more about me than anyone else in my life. We talked for a long time, and we finally talked about our past relationship with each other and our present friendship. The only relationship that I have had since my divorce was with him. He lives in another state, so our time together was very different than it would have been if we were both living in the same city. We were amazing together, but our relationship was not sustainable. A life together meant that one of us had to give up life as we knew it. We both have amazing lives where we are. It just didn’t make sense.
It was just a little more than a week ago that we were having a conversation about going back to where we were. To be honest, I had stumbled in my first attempts at venturing out into single life, and I naturally wanted to run back to a place where I felt safe from it all. Tonight, we ended the conversation without reaching a conclusion, but I know what my conclusion is. I did not want to go back to our relationship. My friendship with him is one of the truest friendships that I have ever had, and I believe that we were meant for each other as friends not as lovers.
I will go to sleep tonight feeling at peace. I still have my dear friend, and I was finally ready to turn the page on our relationship.
For the first time ever in my adult life, my heart is free. There is no heartache, no crush, there is no one on my mind. In the last three years, a couple of guys have come and gone from my life that had the potential to be the man of my dreams, but I was not ready.
The last page of the Post-Divorce Healing chapter of my life has finally been turned.
On to the next chapter…