As I reflect on the past years of my life, there are things that I got right and there are things that I got wrong. The most important thing that I got right is spending as much time as possible with my boys, while also giving them room to have their own time together. The time we refer to as “brother time”.
I have made sound decisions to secure my financial future. I went from one of the largest consulting companies in the world to a small firm where I am valued, and I love the work that I am doing. I lowered my entire living expense to be just 20% of my net income. I love my little house, and the fur kids do too. While I am charitable to causes that are important to me, and I do enjoy treating my friends and spoiling my family, I am still saving more than 50% of my net income. I wish I had appreciate the concept of a low cost living lifestyle sooner.
Another great decision that I made is adopting my fur kids. All four of them bring so much happiness to our family in different ways. It is hard to ever have a bad day when I am surround by snuggly, loving animals. They are not only loving towards us humans, they are loving towards each other.
The one thing that I reflect on that I feel I got wrong over the past few years is what Proverbs 13:10 warns us of. I have not been spending my personal time with the right people. I am fortunate to have the right people in my life, and they are my closest friends. Somehow, I drifted away from them, and found myself in a less than positive social circle. The fact that I met the last two people that I dated in that scene, and the fact that they are both alcoholics is an indicator that I was surrounding myself with the wrong people.
I miss dinners with K and Em. I miss the days when Barry, Ian, Kristen, and I had a “standing meeting” at El Tiempo on Fridays. I miss the Hardy Trace cul-de-sac friends, especially Jen, Irma and Josh. I miss having wine with my friend Lisa. I miss my intellectual conversations with Thomas. I miss seeing Brooke and the other Amber. I miss those rare occasions that I managed to drag Lori out of the house. Most of all, I miss my best friend, Yvonne. We used to see each other several times a week, now we do not even see each other several times a month.
Ultimately, I miss the world that I once lived in where I was surrounded by people that talked about ideas, not other people.
Yes, the pandemic put a sudden halt to so many things, but I think that I was not spending enough time with the right people before the pandemic happened. Then when I had the opportunity to social after the shutdown brought on by the pandemic, I did not prioritize my personal time.
Over the course of the next 100 days, I intend to be purposeful in my social interactions. I intend to spend my time with the friends that I dearly miss, and to seek how new people that have the same drive and sense of responsibility for the world that I do. I suspect that I will be in a very different place from a relationship perspective by the end of the year, and I look forward to seeing how life unfolds.