While the birds have been busy enjoying their summer vacation, unbeknownst to them, I have been dealing with a parenting dilemma. Let’s keep this in perspective, my children are in exceptional health and both are happy little boys growing up to be wonderful young men. My parenting dilemma in no way compares the true crisis and challenges that so many parents in our world deal with. This is simply a dilemma, the sort of thing that every parent faces as their child grows up.
My dilemma is about the book that Brainy Bird was assigned to read over the summer for pre-Advanced Placement (pre-AP) English in the 6th grade. First, I didn’t like that he came home from his last day of fifth grade with a summer homework assignment. Let summer breaks be summer breaks. However, the more that I thought about it; the more I appreciated what a good idea this is. There are so many studies that show children lose much of what they learn over the summer, and that more than a month of the new school year is spent reviewing what they learned last year. Summer assignments help avoid this. Done properly, summer assignments could improve our educational system as a whole.
Once I was over the idea of a summer assignment, I went on to Amazon to buy the book. Brainy Bird said that there are lots of kids going into the pre-AP classes, and that the book would likely be sold out at our bookstore. Funny, it never occurred to me to drive to the bookstore. I am a computer programmer, shouldn’t I use technology not my driving skills? I suspect that anyone that has ever ridden in a car with me appreciates my online shopping capabilities.
I digress…that’s a first or not…
The book arrived in no time, thanks to Amazon Prime two day shipping. Brainy Bird was away visiting his favorite aunt, so I set the book on the coffee table to await his arrival. Then I did something that I hadn’t done since he started reading chapter books on his own. I started reading the book. I would love to tell you that I screen every book that he reads, but with Brainy Bird’s reading habit, this would be next to impossible. Brainy Bird’s take on advancing from elementary school to intermediate school last fall was, “Awesome, a new library of books that I haven’t read!” While all of his peers were stoked about getting lockers for the first time.
The assigned summer reading, entitled, “The Life We Knew” is told through journal entries written by a teenage girl. In the beginning of the book the teenage narrator is worried about typical worldly concerns of teenagers – boys, her math grade, swimming. She wanted to get back to ice skating in the fall, but her mom was happy with how well she was doing at swimming and it was a much less expensive sport. Then everything changes, when an asteroid hits the moon knocking it out of its orbit. Catastrophic weather patterns emerge. Millions of people are killed by tidal waves, earth quakes, and volcanos. There is no electricity and no contact with the outside world. A cold, cruel winter comes early. They are destined to starve to death if they do not freeze first.
A chapter or two into the book. I was floored that the girl was talking about sex. No, the shock wasn’t that a teenage character is a book was talking about sex. The shock was that a character is a book that my soon to be sixth grader was assigned to read was talking about sex. The worst reference being a conversation between the main character (Miranda) and one of her best friends (Megan) about their other best friend (Sammi). Miranda is down that she hasn’t been asked to prom. Sammi has a date to prom, and she always has a date for that matter. Megan’s response to Miranda’s thoughts on Sammi’s attention from boys was, “Sammi always has a date because there is a always a boy inside of her.” Even typing that right now in my blog seems inappropriate. I always want my blog to be an example of responsible social media.
I couldn’t decide what to do. I felt a need to share my concern. I wondered should I email the teacher? Email the principal? Email my fellow parents of sixth graders? I was pretty upset. What I did do was keep reading. I really couldn’t put the book down. No, the book wasn’t captivating because it talked all about sex, it really only talked about sex in order to frame the story and Sammi’s character. The book was captivating because it really makes you think about what is really important in life, and it draws you in and makes you wonder what will become of the Miranda and her family.
I asked my favorite admin at work what she thought I should do. Her answer surprised me. She felt that the only person that I should raise my concern to is my son, and that I should let him read the book. She said to embrace the opportunity to talk to him about an important subject. Shielding him from the book was not going to shield him from hearing about sex.
The second person that I asked was one of my best friends. Her answer surprised me. She felt that I should withdraw my son from public school and invest in a private school education.
I asked a friend that is a teacher. He teaches history, and he loves to read. He said, “I choose curriculum that is on the conservative side,” He said he would maybe, with an emphasis on maybe, allow a book with such content in high school but not in sixth grade. He said the first person to talk to was the teacher, and definitely do not start emailing other parents. The last thing that we need is a riot.
Oddly, my teacher friend made my decision with the guidance that he provided, but I didn’t follow his suggestion. I kept hearing his words over and over in my head, “I choose curriculum…”
I believe, with a great deal of conviction, that the most important consideration is that teachers are allowed to choose the books that their students read. I feel that as a parent it is my job to make sure that this is kept in check, but the “keeping things in check” should not be at the expense of a teacher’s freedom to choose books that have meaning to them. It is my job to talk to my child about anything that may be of a higher maturity level than my child is accustomed to.
There is a reason that people become English teachers. They love literature, and they should have the right to choose books that they are passionate about. Our kids will be exposed to the reality of the world in lots of different ways. I need to see about 30 minutes of television to find subject matters comparable to this book. I hope that my blog readers will forgive my moment as a soapbox mom when I considered leading the charge against the chosen summer reading material for my kids pre-advanced placement class.
To my son, and every book reader out there…
read on.