I asked a close friend about her trust in a person that we both know well. Her response, “What do you mean by trust?” I took pause to this. I expected my question to be answered with a question, but I expected the answer/question to be, “What makes you ask me that?“
I quickly came to the realization that my friend already knew why I am asking. So back to her question, “What do you mean by trust?”
I think that trust is binary. You trust a person or you do not. A person is worthy of your trust or they are not. When someone betrays your trust, you do not caveat the betrayal with a particular area of trust. Trust is trust.
Right?
Now, I am not as sure. There are very few people that I trust with my dog. Those that I do trust with my dog have a special place in my appreciative heart. Oddly, there are way more people in this world that I trust with my children than my dog. If I do not trust a person with my dog, does that mean that I do not trust them?
I simply will not lend money to anyone, no matter what the circumstance might be. Does that mean that I trust no one with money, and therefore I trust no one?
How often do we hear someone say that they desire a person that they do not trust with their hearts? How many years of my life did I spend unable to trust another person with my own heart? Does that mean that all of that time I did have trust in anyone?
Is the ability to be “trusted” with my heart, the care of my dog, the company of my child, or my money at the fiber of my trust? I do not think so. No part of me thinks that is true.
I think that trust as a verb is different from trust as a noun.
Voice in my head – Really?? You are going to bring parts of speech into this???
I think that trust as a noun is binary. You either have my trust or you do not. I think that having my trust means that I feel confident that you will do what you believe is right. Not just what you believe is right by me, but what you believe is right by others. Having my trust means that you would never intentionally cause me harm or anyone else for that matter. Simply put, for me having trust in a person means that I believe the person behaves with good intentions, thinking of others before themselves.
The root of an untrustworthy person for me is self-centeredness. Trust means that one person has the other person’s back. If everyone is just out for themselves, then there is no trust.
I am a trusting person. I trust most people under the premise that trust means a person is thinking of others before themselves, and ultimately seeking to do the right thing in every circumstance.
What does trust mean to you?