Dear Dad,
Happy 75th birthday! I love you, and I miss you. The world changed so much after you left. I wonder what you would think about our world today. I wonder if you would still do crossword puzzles in the newspaper, or if you would have joined Roni and your oldest grandson in the use of the New York Times crossword puzzle app. Every time that I get a new pen, I remember how particular you were about pens, and how much you appreciated a pen with a good fine point, felt tip. I imagine you writing the letters in your crossword with my new pen.
I did not get the crossword puzzle gene. Your grandson, Brainy Bird, definitely did. He even wrote about how much he loves doing the New York Times puzzles with his Aunt Roni in one of his college essays. He was asked about this in his most important college interview. Your grandson takes well rounded to another level. To those that did not know you, Brainy Bird seems like an enigma, having little common with his family. To those that knew you, seeing Brainy Bird makes it is as if you are walking around in a teenager’s body.
Brainy Bird’s intelligence, his priorities, his demeanor, his love for cooking, his meticulous, methodical approach to solving problems all remind me so much of you. He gets a look in his dark green eyes when he finds something that sparks his intellectual curiosity; I remember that look in your brown eyes. Somehow he has your eyes, even though they are a different color. He has your dimples, and he has your thick, dark hair.
Brainy Bird values the same things that you did in women. Yes, he appreciates a physically beautiful woman, but it is heart and intelligence that matter to him. I remember, you could not stand clique-ish women. Brainy Bird is right on that train with you. He likes girls that are leaders, who embrace diversity and inclusiveness, instead of surrounding themselves with other girls just like themselves.
He is naturally drawn to creative people. He is always going to theatre, dance, and musical performances to watch his friends. I remember how much you encouraged your friends and coworkers in the pursuits of their dreams.
I remember how much you encouraged me to pursue a career in writing. You knew that doing something one loves is such a better use of one’s life than making money. I will eventually be a writer in the not too distant future. I wish we still had the book that you half wrote; I would like to finish it.
The two of us are not the only ones with writing skills. Brainy Bird, despite being strongly focused on math and technology, is an exceptional writer, but it is younger brother that got the writing talent. Little Chirp’s ability to organize and craft ideas onto paper are way beyond his years. He does not have your spelling abilities, but most of their work is done on the computer, so he has spellcheck.
Little Chirp shares your love for sports. His sport of choice is basketball. He is rooting for the Cowboys with me! I love when he refers to the Cowboys with the word we, “Are we winning?” Little Chirp also shares the family love for cooking and eating. It is difficult to decide who of the two boys is the better cook. I think that it ultimately depends on what they are cooking.
Little Chirp does not have the Hugh Herbold memory bank that Brainy Bird has, but Little Chirp has straight A’s. He is organized and an exceptional student. He does have the Hugh Herbold logic and sarcasm genes, which at times drive me insane! 🙂 Little Chirp is shy, just as you were. He carefully observes the room before he speaks, just as you did.
I wish that you were here to see that we broke the wheel. The wheel of financial stress, debt, and not being able to pay for college is broken. I live a simple life, without debt. I love the company that I work for; it is a choice to go to work each day, not a necessity. At eighteen, Brainy Bird is financially independent, thanks to the income of his company and an enormous merit-based scholarship. He will graduate from college with a high paying degree, without debt. He leaves behind the entire college fund for his little brother to be able to also attend the college of his choice without debt. I am less than a decade away from life in a small cabin in the mountains, with my dog, cats, and a freelance writing career.
I wish that you were here with me, so that I could treat you to the life that you deserve. A life of simple happiness, without all of the stress that we were under the last years of your life. Thinking back on those days makes me sad. It breaks my heart that you never got to see the beautiful days that lay ahead.
I wish you could see how proud I am to be your daughter. Anyone that is close to me knows how much I love America, and how much I respect our veterans, veterans like my father. Professionally, I chose integrity over money just as you taught me. I thought of you often during that time. Never once did I regret walking away from the money to do what I knew with certainty was the right thing to do. It took time, and it was not easy; it was scary, but today, I make just as much money as I would have if I had not walked away, and today I work for a company that puts integrity first, no matter the price.
As we get ready for Thanksgiving next week, I remember our last Thanksgiving together. I was pregnant with Brainy Bird. I hate that the two of you never got to spend a Thanksgiving with one another. You and Roni cooked the most incredible Thanksgiving feast that I have ever eaten. I remember Mom was jealous. That was Aunt Carol’s last Thanksgiving as well. I remember making a video with a VHS camcorder. I wish that I still had that video. That Thanksgiving Day was a happy day among dark difficult days.
It took me more than a decade to have another happy Thanksgiving. I still remember the turning point. I wish that you could meet the friends that I have now. The friends that are my family. I will think of you often in the upcoming days. I will miss you when we spoil ourselves with a fine dine at Perry’s Steakhouse on Thanksgiving Day. I will miss you when we celebrate Thanksgiving with Roni and Robert on Friday. Robert is a man that I wish you got to meet. Little sister married well. I will miss you when I play blocks with your grandson, who I gave the blog name of Baby Huey after you. He doesn’t just have your name; he has your incredible intelligence. I will miss you Friday evening when we celebrate Shane and Lyn’s twenty fifth wedding anniversary. I still remember how excited you were about their wedding. It is hard to believe that was twenty-five years ago.
I am deeply thankful to be your daughter. I am deeply thankful for the privilege of raising two of your grandsons. Your legacy lives on in them.
Love,
Me, your middle child, the dreamer, the writer