Labels on jars make a lot of sense. The contents of a jar is easily definable. People want to know what is in the jar, and the label lets them know. Labels on jars provide the summary of contents in big letters and the details in small letters to satisfy the different levels of interests regarding the contents of the jar. Take for instance, a jar of pickles. The label provides a large font, “Pickles”, and with that font there is most likely some important description like, “Sweet”, “Bread and Butter” or “Kosher”. That’s all that many people want to know. While, the fact that the jar contains pickles is probably obvious, those added identifiers are hugely helpful. Especially, if you detest sweet pickles.
Going beyond the big words on a jar label, is the small words: the detailed ingredients, nutritional information, where the contents of the jar was made, whether or not the jar is recyclable. The more interested a person is about the contents of a jar, the more they read the fine print of the label. Once again, labels on jars are serving a great purpose. Especially, for those of us that are careful about what we put inside of our bodies.
Now, it is obvious where this post is headed. Labels are for jars, boxes, packages…they serve a great purpose. They are not for people. I think that humans have a natural need to define and organize their world. This makes for a tidy closet or kitchen drawers, but does not lend itself to effectively getting to know someone, or to the foundation of a friendship or romantic relationship.
The mind and heart of a living human are much more complex than the contents of any jar. It makes me crazy when people try to label me or someone close to me in some way. Especially, when it is someone that has just met me. I had a really bad first date recently, and the guy told me that I am a really tough, take control type of woman, and he really likes a girl like that. Well, I am one to lead in the absence of leadership, one to make decisions when things are left up to me, and at work I lead when it is my job to do so. I am a pretty good leader, but that’s not who I am naturally. I am actually quite tender hearted, and I very much want a man that takes control of a situation. I am not looking for a little puppy dog to follow me around and lick my feet.
Bringing the analogy home, “Sweet Pickles” on a jar is a label that works. That is always what the contents of the jar is, but people are not so finite. We weren’t created in a factory. Sometimes we are tough an nails because we have to be, sometimes we are sensitive and tender hearted. Sometimes we lead and sometimes we follow. We are dynamic there isn’t an effective labeling system for us.