Where have the years gone? Today is Brainy Bird’s 13th birthday. I can’t say that it feels like yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time. To the contrary, it feels like a lifetime ago when I think back to that particular day of his life. I can say that when I think about his life holistically, the years have flow by.
I remember when I was pregnant with Brainy Bird, and I rode the commuter bus into work everyday. I actually did not have a car. During my bus ride, I would type nearly every day on my laptop into his baby book. What I wouldn’t give now to have that amount of time to write. There wasn’t much of a concept of a blog back then. Instead, I would write to Brainy Bird, my unborn son, and I would print what I had written when I got home that day, and I would add it to his baby book. I remember my father read Brainy Bird’s baby book once, and he told me that it made him worry. He said that sometimes babies do not make it into the world., and he worried that I had such an attachment to Brainy Bird before he was even born.
My father was amazing, and he knew so much, but he did not understand how much a woman is attached to the child inside of her the very day that child is conceived. I remember waking up that morning knowing that I was pregnant, and I remember a feeling of warmth and love that I had never felt before. Brainy Bird certainly did make it into the world. I thank God everyday for the blessing of Brainy Bird in my life. I think that I never knew how it felt to truly love another person until that day, the day that seems like a lifetime ago, the day that I held Brainy Bird for the first time.
I think about my life that day, and I think about my life today, and it feels like two different lifetimes. I think about Brainy Bird’s pre-teen years, and it feels like they have flown by. It sounds contradictory, but in my head it makes sense. Like every Mommy, I want one more snuggle with him in my arms; I want one more day to feed him his beloved blueberries from a baby food jar; I want one more day where he is all mine.
Instead, I have a teenager, and I embrace the present. Although, I do have my freak out moments…In just three years, Brainy Bird will be driving. In just five years, Brainy Bird will be headed off to college. I want to make the clock stop just for a moment. I want to cherish everyday. I feel as if there were times in his thirteen years that I was wrapped up in everything that did not matter, and that I missed the precious moments of life – the hugs, the learning something new, the “Mommy is my entire world” days. There is no greater gift in the world than to watch our children grow, and there is nothing that makes us look back more on the beautiful, blessed days that have passed us by….than to watch our children grow.