Our little family has officially kicked off the 2017-2018 school year, and this year’s kick off included Brainy Bird starting high school, and a hurricane with catastrophic flooding. Despite the obstacles, this is the most flawless back to school that we have ever experienced.
One would think that the biggest adjustment was for Brainy Bird. High school is a huge transition. Actually, Brainy Bird was the most well adjusted of the three of us, with Little Chirp having the most challenges with adjusting to the new school year.
Little Chirp’s constant in life is Brainy Bird. My sister believes that everyone in the world has exactly one favorite person; they just never share with the rest of the extremely loved people in their lives who that number one person is. For Little Chirp, I think that this favorite, number one person is, without a doubt, Brainy Bird. The two have been together through thick and thin. Their dad and I share custody of the two them, and the one person that is always there to give Little Chirp attention and mentor him is Brainy Bird. Like I said, Little Chirp’s constant in life is Brainy Bird.
Little Chirp doesn’t run next door to play with other kids, he wants his brother to play games with him, and Brainy Bird is a phenomenal big brother. He often spends time with Little Chirp in the form of games and helping Little Chirp excel in school. The two champion each other, take care of each and they look out for each other.
Anytime that Little Chirp can put his brother first, instead of thinking about what he wants, he does. Little Chirp wasn’t born with this line of thinking, quite the contrary. He learned to put another person before his own self, by having a big brother that did exactly that for him.
Well….that brings me to Little Chirp’s big adjustment. Brainy Bird has started high school. He is involved in theatre, robotics club, Cats for Christ, church youth group, mathletes, and he wants to spend more and more time with his friends.
Brainy Bird’s absence while he is at school, spreading his wings and becoming involved in the things that interest him has left Little Chirp feeling VERY left out. Little Chirp’s positive energy and enthusiasm for life is contagious, he raises all of our spirits. At the same time, when he is feeling down, he can take us all down. I guess we are all so used to Little Chirp’s happy, go lucky demeanor that we look for it as a light in our stressful lives. We forget that this little ball of seemingless endless sunshine has his own rainy days.
I hate seeing my little guy sad. I especially hated that he chose on multiple occasions to pout about Brainy Bird’s absence instead of playing a game with me. I worried that Little Chirp may have issues in school. Little Chirp can easily do all of his school work on his own, but he likes the attention that he gets when Brainy Bird looks over his school work with him.
While I have loved seeing how excited Brainy Bird is about high school, I have been worried about my Little Chirp. I have known the answer; it is quite obvious, Little Chirp needs to get a little social life of his own. But, I also know that if Little Chirp makes up his mind to not do something that it is next to impossible to change the little bird’s mind. I knew that I needed to tread lightly.
I lucked out. One of my favorite neighbors invited us over to swim and watch college football one Saturday night while Brainy Bird was over at a friend’s house. Little Chirp adores the neighbor, and he never passes up the opportunity to come to their house, even if it is just for a short visit. I think that extroverts have secret club that links them all together. On top of being somewhere that Little Chirp loves to go, we arrived to find two other boys that are Little Chirp’s age, including one that lives on our street. Little Chirp had a blast. It was the first time since Brainy Bird started high school that Little Chirp wasn’t clinging to me asking when Brainy Bird would be home. Instead, I had to convince Little Chirp that it was time to go home well past his bedtime.
A few days later, when Brainy Bird was again at school for an after school activity, I told Little Chirp to go see if the little boy that lives on our street wanted to play. Little Chirp pouted on his way out the door. He arrived home in time for dinner right as Brainy Bird arrived home. Little Chirp tried hard to say it was not much fun. Yet, he couldn’t stop talking about how they played Legos and all of the fun ideas they had about games to play and all of the funny things that the little boy’s sister had to say. I knew Little Chirp had fun, but that he did not want to admit.
The next evening, I sat down with Little Chirp, and I had a heart to heart with him. I explained to him that his brother is growing up, and that he is going to be spending less and less time with us both. Little Chirp cried. It was every fiber of my being to not cry too. I reminded him that Brainy Bird loves him more than anyone else in this world, and that he would always be there for him when he really needs him. I also told him that it is really important that we both let Brainy Bird have more time to fly on his own.
Little Chirp understood, because Brainy Bird taught Little Chirp to put other people before himself.
A week or so went by, and then we were walking home from school, and Little Chirp asked if he could go to his little friend’s house to play. I thought to myself, “Please let the little neighbor boy be available to play!”
It was funny, the little boy’s sister heard him asking me if he could go to their house, and at that point it was hard for anyone to say no. So, off to our house the neighbor boy and his little sister went. We ate goldfish crackers for snack, and they checked out our game room and what we call the puzzle room. As soon as they saw the deck of Phase 10 cards, they were hooked on the idea of playing Phase 10. This is ironic, as one of the days when Little Chirp and I were by ourselves, I tried to get him to play, and he wouldn’t. He said that it was no fun with two people. I think of the thousand times that I played with his older brother while he was in his crib, and I beg to differ, but what do I know?
With zero explanation both the neighbor boy and his sister were able to not only play Phase 10, but play competitively. No tears or whining when someone got skipped or someone else won a hand, but a huge amount of energy and competitive banter. We all had fun, and this was a huge, positive adjustment step for Little Chirp.
Brainy Bird arrived home from robotics to find us all playing cards. I know he was happy to see us getting along without him, yet at the same time feeling a bit of adjustment himself as his seat at the card table was filled.
Meanwhile, Brainy Bird has been spending his days at the high school engaged in after school activities. One of his favorites is “tech theatre”. This is where the kids build the set for the theatre show. My best friend, Sunshine, was quite, umm….what’s the word? I hate to say manipulative because it has a bad connotation, and her influence was very positive. Sunshine swayed things so that my STEM focused offspring wound up in tech theatre with all the artistic brained children. This group of kids is also super accepting of each other. They value being different.
This group of kids has set the tone for Brainy Bird’s initial high school experience, and that experience has been very positive, fun and a confidence builder for my introverted self-proclaimed nerd.
I just saw a picture on Facebook of the set that the tech theatre kids have been building for the show that opens tomorrow. Holy cow! it is impressive. I see why Brainy Bird wants to be a part of all of this. I talk to Brainy Bird all the time about stepping outside of his comfort zone, and I am so happy that such a big step out of his “safe zone” has been so positive.
Notice all of the undertones of friendship in this blog post? One thing that God has without a doubt blessed me with is true, deep, forever friendships way beyond what I deserve. Maybe the tragedy of not having my parents to turn to in difficult times and to celebrate with during holidays and special times is resulting in my children seeing how important friendship is, which in turn makes them value their budding friendships more than a normal child would.
There is a reason that Sunshine’s blog name is Sunshine.
This would make my own mother very happy as she deaply valued her close friends.
As a mother myself, I am extremely happy to see how well my children are adjusting and most importantly, enjoying the newest chapter of their childhoods.
Thank you God for my Birds, my friends and my Birds’ budding friendships.